Dont let them take advantage of you, and dont let them walk all over you. 6 Ways to Correct a Co-worker Without Coming Off as a Condescending Know-it-All by Kat Boogaard Updated 6/19/2020 Your co-worker continually uses the incorrect statistic in a team meeting. Employers should be adept at flagging employees who routinely demonstrate this problematic attitude. Know-it-all team members can sometimes stifle innovation. What were you trying to achieve in that moment? Dont merely throw at your co-worker that they are patronizing. How to Coach An Employee With A Negative Attitude And unsurprisingly, this kind of attitude in the workplace could lead to employees doubting their skills and abilities which will ultimately impact productivity. What is the best way to deal with condescending behavior? Often, the colleague on the. Annoying Subordinates - Harvard Business Review This response was given outside of direct observation of the behavior so as not to focus on Jane in front of the team. If your coworker is struggling, try to be supportive. It was a good reminder that unfortunately we dont always get to collaborate with people who have mastered the nuances of communication in the workplace. Let them know that their behavior makes you uncomfortable. Below are four possibilities that may be able to help. If they refuse to stop, you may want to consider reporting their behavior to your boss. At TheBalanceWork, we always put our readers first. September 21, 2017 Summary. If you need to, ask for clarification. You should be polite and friendly anytime you are addressing the issue with the co-worker and not to sound patronizing yourself. Morey suggests having a know-it-all employee moderate a brainstorming session. When it comes right down to it, excessive talking at work is only a problem when goals and deadlines are missed, either for individuals or for the team. Simply reach out to us and well do everything we can to assist you. theyre new to the job, or theyre not used to working with people. After all, there can be all sorts of reasons why a person is acting a certain way, and you need to be open-minded and curious about whats driving the behavior., Calmly stand your ground Your report could react defensively. If theyre so condescending to someone they work with professionally, imagine the interactions they have with the person who serves them their morning coffee. When dealing with an employee who is used to getting in the last word, sometimes correcting their behavior comes down to getting your point across loud and clear. If someone is demonstrating feelings of superiority over someone else, it could be considered condescending. And Jack probably wouldn't be mad at me; I sense something is wrong in the last few days. State neutral observations of your employees actions and then describe the impact of their behavior and why you believe its problematic. Plan ahead by thinking about what you wish to convey and how you want to convey it. Use The Muse to find a job at a company with a culture you love. Nicknames are often not the most work-appropriate behavior to adopt, but sometimes they can be so bad that theyre considered patronizing and inappropriate. Moreover, it can make it difficult to work with them. I don't like that my relationship with Jack has suffered. There can be several reasons why a coworker might be condescending: If your coworker is always condescending, they might be jealous of you. What To Do When You Feel Unappreciated At Work, How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Coworker, 4 Ways to Handle a Condescending Co-Worker. Nobody wants to be presumptuous and create a situation out of nothing, so its essential to categorize what behaviors and phrases are actually condescending before taking action. Prepare junior team members for future leadership positions. Some colleagues may come from a different workplace culture or be accustomed to speaking to others in a certain way that they dont recognize as being inappropriate. If the other person gets riled up, youre more likely to get riled up, too. She recommends acknowledging your employees point of view, while also ensuring your message comes across. If you could redo it, what would you do differently? The goal, she says, is to get your direct report to think about his style and approach. The behavior could be something that the person isnt aware of. These questions also give [your employee] the time and space to think out loud about his behavior and the root causes of it, Webb says. They refuse to listen to anyone elses opinion. Using nicknames like boss, sweetie, honey, or chief in a professional workplace may be looked upon as inappropriate and demeaning. If you experience any of these signs, it may be time to address the situation. They might enjoy having control over others. She realized that she needed to raise the stakes to ensure that the message landed. He seemed fine at first. No votes so far! By using the site, you consent to the placement of these cookies. This employee might tell his experienced colleague how to do a task he has been doing for years. It should be created with their collaboration and should focus on the final behavior you want to see. Telling You To Chill Out When Youre Upset. After youve said your piece, ask your employee for their perspective. If the problem continues and is significantly affecting the workplace and the mental health of others, then the HR representative may take appropriate disciplinary action. The employee who cuts you or their co-workers off. An employee or manager who tends to share and relate their personal experience while a co-worker vents their frustration out can seem selfish and belittle the feelings of the co-worker. They might feel like theyre not good enough, or they might not be confident in their abilities. Employees can calmly and professionally set a time to have a proper conversation with the condescending co-worker without making a scene. A good coach will help team members strive to develop the skills they need to keep moving forward and to avoid stagnation. By ignoring you, theyre making it clear that they dont think youre worth their time. You could say something like, I want to make sure we're on the same page and what you're saying now is throwing me off. However, there are ways to get know-it-all employees to recognize the effects of their behavior. MANAGER: Could you've helped Jack in another way to give correct information? Revisiting refers to following-up on an employee's progress toward meeting a clear expectation, ideally using the Inspiring Accountability Results Model format. 1. When a coworker is patronizing you, there are many ways you can go about handling the situation. Learn and adapt - to a point. A reader writes: I am a fairly easygoing person with one major weakness: I cannot handle it when men are condescending. Our daily newsletter is FREE and keeps you up-to-date with the world of HR. Try one of these strategies to keep your cool and not sink to the level of the offending party. Condescension in the Ranks: How to Handle Snide Remarks at Work Prepare For Any Outcome. Coach the employee with a personal development plan that focuses on improving the negative behavior. Help them out where you can and offer them some distractions. Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? They can be condescending in their words, actions, or even their attitude. There are many reasons why a coworker might be condescending. They might enjoy making others feel inferior. This can be risky, as they may react negatively, but it may also get them to stop their behavior. MANAGER: While I admire your confidence in this situation it never hurts to learn more and get more guidance. You deserve respect. First and foremost, keep calm and carry on, as they say. 7 ways to manage a condescending employee | HRD America When youre speaking, your coworker should actively listen until youre finished to chime in with their opinion. During the conversation itself, she made sure to stick to the facts. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. I said,Yesterday during the meeting, I noticed that youhad some concerns about our topic of discussion and Im sure this wasnt on purpose, but you interrupted multiple times and rolled your eyes at a colleagues comment., Alina then told Peter the impact of his behavior and why it was harmful to the team. If you set boundaries with your condescending coworker, they may be less likely to cross them. With a business background, I have an inclination towards raising awareness of workplace issues as catering to them helps you excel in your career. Know it's not about you. Employees who use general nicknames like these may be perceived as condescending or disrespecting the co-worker or managers ability. Allow the natural confusion or concern felt in the moment to come out in your response. If the behavior continues, employees should document all the instances and present them to the proper manager or HR representative. In our years studying and working with companies on this topic, we've observed that when many executives say "yes," they're ill-equipped to answer. Nothing good comes from two coworkers on the defensive who both think theyre in the right. Start by signaling your good intentions. Know-it-all team members can sometimes stifle innovation. The follow-up phrase "Do you have an example or template I can follow?" demonstrates sincerity. Help them out where you can and give them some space. It can also be beneficial to set up a meeting later to talk about the situation one-on-one. ", Depending on your comfort level with this colleague, you could consider letting him know how you (and possibly others) are perceiving the message based on tone of voice. This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre manipulative. Case Study #1: Plan what youre going to say, and cite specific observations of your employees behavior Earlier in her career, Alina Basina, Global Head of Talent and Human Resources atJobbatical, the international job-matching site,once had a direct report who rubbed his colleagues the wrong way. Aside from ensuring employees and managers do not respond irrationally or defensively to a condescending comment, maintaining positive body language helps avoid any conflict and misunderstanding. Suz explained that she saw the looks on their clients faces, and while she cant know what they were thinking, she worried that they found it irritating as well. Suz then told Shannon that she should never be on her phone in a meeting. Most Managers Don't Know How to Coach People. But They Can Learn. If you dont give them the reaction they want, they may give up and leave you alone. If you distance yourself from your condescending coworker, they may get the hint. Make sure that you talk to them politely and respectfully. And when the feedback is about an employees personal style, the task is even harder. This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. Do your best to maintain a calm and neutral demeanor. They try to put you down at every opportunity. If your coworker is always acting like they know everything, theyre likely condescending. "Someone could have a really good idea, and you'd miss out on an opportunity to make something easier to do or more efficient," he said. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Feedback Essentials. If you go in with a desire to criticize, you are more likely to have a combative conversation. Think, too, about how you plan to raise the topic with your employee, and consider the physical setting as well. The least you can do is try to avoid them as much as possible. Not to mention, dealing with condescending people at work can sap your energy and make you less productive! Let them know that their behavior is bothering you and ask them to stop. Don't count on it: H-1B skilled labor option 'not realistic,' says immigration lawyer, Essential soft skills to become a great leader, set the tone for acceptable behavior in the workplace, Addressing inappropriate work behavior (and preventing them). They should use the opportunity to point out how their behavior is affecting others and the work environment. After the meeting, I did what I would do after any client meeting: spend 30 minutes debriefing with my colleague on what went well and what we could do differently next time. Its an overarching statement that can be received as a little offensive and condescending because it states that your actions are all or nothing when, in reality, nobody ever always or never behaves in a certain way. Many people wonder what behavior is considered condescending in the workplace and what isnt. 7 Top Strategies for Managing Employee Performance | Lattice Set up an extended coaching session (or two or three). Handling Underhanded Comments in the Workplace - Indeed These are not good signs if theyre making faces or acting like they cant stand you. Remember that other peoples behavior is always more about them than it is about you. We will share ways to handle a condescending coworker. What Is Considered Condescending Behavior? If theyre too insufferable, walk away and dont talk to them. Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. Spend less time with them and dont talk to them as often. I said, If I started doing this while you were talking to me, would you think I was paying attention to you? That was when she realized the gravity of her mistake, and how utterly unprofessional and off-putting it looked to clients, she says. Managers are hesitant to engage in difficult conversations because they're not sure how to approach their employees. Your employee should feel that your intentions are positive. With the knowledge in mind of what a condescending nature looks like and where it comes from, you probably have a better idea if youre experiencing this with your co-worker. Suz became frustrated. Read more: Essential soft skills to become a great leader. A condescending person seems to think theyre better than everyone else. If you can find common ground with your coworker, they may be less likely to act superior around you. This type of behavior can be very disrespectful. A Foolproof Guide For Handling Condescending Coworkers - Fast Company If this is the case, try to be supportive and understanding. MANAGER: I can't disagree with that reasoning. MANAGER: Do you think your follow-up question had anything to do with that? Youre more likely to see a shift in behavior if your employee feels as thoughhes had an opportunity to help come up with a solution. Maintain a collected and composed standpoint when talking to someone about when youve felt patronized by them at work. If you dont want to be around them, avoid them. Promote professional bonding and consistent communication between employees and management. If you call someone "rude" or tell them that they're "being rude," it can be extremely difficult for them to respond in any way other than defensively. You decide to combat their patronizing attitude by saying, I understand your point, but why did you have to interrupt me to say that?. When a colleague vents to you about a frustration or a problem, you think the best way to be supportive is to talk about your own experience that you deem similar. By interrupting you, they think their opinion is more important than yours. If your coworker is always rolling their eyes at you, theyre being condescending. 3 Ways to Deal with a Condescending Employee with 4 Sample Scenarios An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. No matter the reason, there are ways to handle a condescending coworker. An employee who is constantly explaining, lecturing, and informing his colleagues when it is not necessary can quickly make his colleagues feel condescended to. Let's examine the behaviors to watch out for and the ways managers can appropriately address every kind of condescending employee to create a more cohesive and productive workplace for all. These are warning signs if theyre raising their voice or speaking to you in an angry tone. Ignore rude or difficult behavior. MANAGER: Which of the two assessments would you prefer, if you could repeat them? That matters to me because Im trying to create an atmosphere of inclusion, where everyone feels heard, because I know that improves the work we do as a team. Be careful not to insinuate that this is malicious, or even intentional, behavior. If you've ever had a condescending manager, you may have considered quitting. It will probably leave you looking like the bad guy when all is said and done. Go ahead Jack. Say, How do you think that Tuesday meeting went? Nod and smile, when all else fails. Most dictionaries define condescension as an attitude of patronizing superiority, with the intent to make people feel bad. Handle A Condescending Coworker By Finding Common Ground: 5. Those are signals that tell her she nailed itif, in fact, she was trying to piss you off. If your coworker is overworked, try to be understanding. Employees, managers, and HR leaders should set the tone for acceptable behavior in the workplace so that colleagues can follow suit, especially the new hires. Here are four ways to coach an employee who needs to shore up in these areas. Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. Start-Up Boom In Pandemic Detailed Stats, All Stats Related To Cut In Greenhouse Gas Emission Due To WFH. Western Governors University Book Revie: Navigating Colleague Conflict with Crucial Conversations. Shannon was extremely bright, and I wanted her to have firsthand experience of what it was like to meet clients, Suz recalls. And how you plan to say it When it comes to conversations like these, what you say is nearly as important as how you say it. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.. This paints the employee as condescending and can make their co-workers avoid them in the workplace. In the end, Peter was a bit embarrassed, but appreciative that someone had spoken tohim. that you have a condescending coworker. Updated on March 14, 2023 Some of us may have met a condescending coworker at one point in our lives, and it can be challenging, especially when they start to affect your daily work routine. Be Specific. When dealing with someone with condescending behavior, its important to know its not about you and its something else going on. Ask for further explanation. If they let the comments get to them, it could trigger a fear response that makes employees act based on emotions instead of making rational and logical decisions. How to Manage a Stubborn, Defensive, or Defiant Employee You never know how your co-worker will react to you bringing up that theyve been acting condescending towards you. Maybe theyre new to the job, or theyre not used to working with people. Handle A Condescending Coworker In 10 Ways | TheBalanceWork Summary. With time and support, theyll become more confident. How Do You Coach An Arrogant Employee? - Bliss Tulle When someone tells you to calm down or chill out when youre upset, it negates the validity of these feelings. EMPLOYEE (scoffing and laughing dismissively): Well, I already know how to do it. make sure that you dont react to them only to egg them on. She authored The Resume Coloring Book, a simple and color-coded guide to writing a solid resume. The first step to dealing with a difficult co-worker, particularly one who patronizes you, is to think about why people patronize others around them. If your coworker is evil, its important to be aware of their behavior. If your boss knows about the behavior of your coworker, they may be more likely to address it. If your coworker is struggling, try to be supportive. Use their confidence to your advantage. You can say something like, When youre ready to speak to me in a less condescending tone, Ill be at my desk. This gives you a chance to breathe, decompress, and gather your thoughts before speaking to this person again. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! This is a development conversation, and you ought to be up front about that. A good coach will help employees get an objective view of other members and their capabilities. Show her how valuable you are to her and to the team. How to Deal With a Condescending Boss - The Balance Help them out where you can and give them some space. ManageBetter, with its library of 3,000 feedback phrases, might be a resource you want to check out. Alina spent some time preparing what she planned to say. You need to give them examples for them to know what they need to improve. how to coach an employee on soft skills Ask a Manager By acting superior, theyre making it clear that they think theyre better than you. Asking for clarification on what the employee means can reveal that they constantly bring up the reminder because they are confused about what to do and wants advice from their co-worker. Here are nine quick tips to help you redirect overly social employees without crushing morale. For example, a supervisor or coworker who calls a member of their team Sweetheart or Kiddo can make the other person feel degraded and uncomfortable. Every kind of workplace is bound to have a few condescending employees who seem to love causing tensions between co-workers to flare up. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." Steps to deal with condescension at work Note that the behavior is acceptable in some situations and was pointed out by the manager, but it was also highlighted when it was not appropriate. The next time theyll likely think twice before interrupting or acting condescendingly. It may be difficult to stop condescending behavior from happening in the workforce but there are steps employees can take to manage a condescending employee. For example, an employee may keep bringing up a working reminder that makes their co-worker feel like they are not trusted to remember the reminder. Managers are tasked not only with identifying these individuals and their behavior but with addressing them as well. Even if you decide to take action about your coworker patronizing you, knowing that its not about you will keep your demeanor objective and unemotional. If youre struggling to deal with your condescending coworker, you can talk to a friend about it. Here are four approaches that can help. Often, the perpetrator of workplace patronization wont even be aware of the condescending tone they have. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. That means maintaining positive body language and non-hostile expressions. When confronting them, you are more likely to talk to them. Shannon spent most of the meeting checking her phone. Here's how to deal with a condescending coworker, as advised by experts. They might feel threatened by your success, or they might resent your achievements. Posing a friendly question for why theyve behaved in a patronizing way on the spot is straightforward. Get agitated. Confronting condescending employees will not be pleasant. They might be struggling to keep up with their workload, or they might be feeling overwhelmed. Talking to a friend about your condescending coworker can help to make you feel better. Whether they deploy one of the more subtle tactics above or pitch in by countering your attacker's comments with positivity, the show of force by fellow office-mates is bound to help thwart the efforts of a condescending colleague. Examples of employee coaching in the workplace. Help them out where you can and offer them some distractions. In this article we will go over how to handle a condescending co-worker, examples of the behavior, and tips to make it easier. Prepare what you plan to say Before you begin the discussion, you need to think deeply about what you plan to say, Webb says. Even though youre in a situation where you find yourself uncomfortable or annoyed with your co-workers behavior, try to display kindness when discussing this with them. This might sound obvious, but sometimes just naming the area that you'd like the person to work on (or the different behavior that you'd like to see) can be powerful. One way to ease the tension of having to deal with a patronizing coworker is to understand that it's not personal. I think he was unnerved. I don't think it was right for Jack to spread false information. Some coworkers are condescending because theyre lonely and bored. 2. "If we have a project we're trying to pitch to upper management, this person would be great at it. If you cant seem to get your coworker to change their behavior, try finding common ground with them. Encourage professional development, continued learning and constant improvement. Be Careful Not To Sound Patronizing Yourself. JANE: Well, the downside would be that we wouldn't have had the benefit of the correct information right away. For example, a co-worker who constantly shares comments throughout the day on the layout of a poster design may seem condescending but actually points out an area on the design that could be sharpened to be better. They should use the opportunity to point out how their behavior is . See more: Subscribe to The Thougthful Leader newsletter to discover exceptional leadership insights to elevate your team's performance. "Ask them where they got their information and if they have proven data for what they say is the best way to do something.". When we're stressed, our brain tends to mount a defensive 'fight-flight-or-freeze' responseduring which there's reduced activity in brain areas responsible for reasoning, self-control . If theyre always avoiding eye contact or refusing to talk to you, these are the signs. Managing a defiant employee isn't easy. If you experience any of these signs, it may be time to address the situation. 12 Simple Ways to Deal with a Condescending Boss - wikiHow Dealing with a condescending co-worker can make your work life miserable. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. The manager can then schedule a discussion with the condescending employee to understand what is causing the behavior. Engage in joint problem solving. It is okay to share the excitement of the experience but telling the story in a condescending tone, especially when mentioning the famous person has no contribution to the conversation, can seem like the employee is trying to show off their connections as more important. Learn more by downloading this comprehensive report. Even if you think her behavior was unwarranted, let your performance speak for you. And if you let her, say, by lashing out to defend yourself and telling her what a jerk she is, youll just be playing right into her hands. If your coworker is lonely and bored, try to be friendly and chat with them whenever you can. An effective way to handle a condescending coworker and put them in their place is by asking for further explanation about the subject theyre touching on.

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